Match Making?

My good friend Naomi has four precious kiddos. The youngest is a little younger than Molly. I think it is special that she and I were pregnant at the same time. We spent quite a bit of time together for the last two years. Max and I would go over and play with her at the time three kids. Max loved it there. They also lived right next door to an awesome park that Max loved!

Anyway, she has one four-year-old son. He is adorable and she emailed me the following today:

” I have to tell you something funny. Kai was a little sad that it is not ok to marry people in your own family, so he decided he’d like to marry Molly. He said he knows he needs to get her a ring, and then he asked if they just had to dance together to be married! LOL! I told him the girl has to want to marry him as well, and you go through a ceremony. I would love for Kai to have awesome in-laws, though there are many years between now and when dating and marriage is a real possibility. I just thought it was so cute. :-)”

She also reminded me of the time we all went to the zoo last spring. Here are the pictures that I took that day.

four

 

Max's first solo carousel ride. He was so sad when the ride stopped,
Max’s first solo carousel ride. He was so sad when the ride stopped,
Our four kids (that weren't in our bellies at the time) This picture is very special to me.
Our four kids (that weren’t in our bellies at the time) This picture is very special to me.
This is the horse he picked out.
This is the horse he picked out.
Such a sweet picture.
Such a sweet picture.

Fort Stevens 2014

We went camping at Fort Stevens on the Oregon Coast last week. My parents took my sister and I there camping when we were growing up. My Kelly and I also camped there for a week the summer that Max was one. We have great memories of that. So we camped there again with Molly, my parents and my sister. The weather was pretty good and we had a great time together.

Molly tapped out on car seat time about an hour in. Too bad it took three to get there.
Molly tapped out on car seat time about an hour in. Too bad it took three to get there.
This was a typical day. My dad secretly loves their dog Bella.
This was a typical day. My dad secretly loves their dog Bella.
Papa Lynn with Molly.
Papa Lynn with Molly.
Aunt Kelly and Molly sharing a snack.
Aunt Kelly and Molly sharing a snack.
Molly clapping with delicious birthday cupcake frosting on her hands.
Molly clapping with delicious birthday cupcake frosting on her hands.
photo-33
I love that she’s trying to stuff as much cupcake in her mouth as it will allow.
She looks like a big kid to me in jeans and this adorable hood sweatshirt!
She looks like a big kid to me in jeans and this adorable hood sweatshirt!

 

Molly is a fan of the golf card and of course we took it camping.
Molly is a fan of the golf card and of course we took it camping.
Daddy preparing to cruise the campground with Molly.
Daddy preparing the golf cart to cruise the campground.
Molly in four wheel drive.
Molly in four wheel drive.
Our first day at the beach was crazy windy and cold but Molly had a good time digging.
Our first day at the beach was crazy windy and cold but Molly had a good time digging.
Molly helping me build a sandcastle.
Molly helping me build a sandcastle.
Day 2 at the beach was nicer. Molly doing serious playing on the sandbar.
Day 2 at the beach was nicer. Molly doing serious playing on the sandbar.
So cute!
So cute!
Checking out some kids squealing and laughing.
Checking out some kids squealing and laughing.
This is one of my favorite pictures from our trip.
This is one of my favorite pictures from our trip.
The beach was so windy Kelly put up a tent for us. We ate licorice and watched people.
The beach was so windy Kelly put up a tent for us. We ate licorice and watched people.
Molly digging in the sand.
Molly digging in the sand.
Look at that cutie!
Look at that cutie!
Another one of my favs.
Another one of my favs.

 

 

Molly is ONE!

I cannot believe it but Molly turned one! We celebrated with a joint birthday party with Molly’s cousin, James who is 9 days older than her. This was with Kelly’s side of the family. Then we spent six days down at Fort Stevens on the Oregon Coast and celebrated Molly’s birthday down there with my parents and sister. Right before Molly’s birthday she and I took a mini road trip up to Bellingham to see my dear friend, Suzanne. We’ve been friends since 7th grade! She offered conduct a birthday photo shoot of Molly. This was so sweet and generous of her. Its been hard at times to feel celebratory of Molly’s birthday because Max isn’t here to celebrate with us. However Molly does need to be celebrated! This photo shoot helped to get me in a better frame of mind.

Suzanne's three-year-old daughter Jubilee let Molly borrow her pretty necklaces.
Suzanne’s three-year-old daughter Jubilee let Molly borrow her pretty necklaces.
This is one of my favs.
This is one of my favs.
She loved that balloon...until it popped...
She loved that balloon…until it popped…
Don't you just love the pink swimsuit with the tutu!
Don’t you just love the pink swimsuit with the tutu!
I love this picture!!!
I love this picture!!!
Jubilee and Molly. Jubilee loves babies!
Jubilee and Molly. Jubilee loves babies!
Molly sitting with Jubilee and Asa, Suzanne's six-year-old son.
Molly sitting with Jubilee and Asa, Suzanne’s six-year-old son.
Look at that little belly button!
Look at that little belly button!
I love how this photo captures her eyes.
I love how this photo captures her eyes.
Suzanne's three-year-old daughter Jubilee let Molly borrow her pretty necklaces.
Suzanne’s three-year-old daughter Jubilee let Molly borrow her pretty necklaces.

2014-07-30 01.28.14

Molly is bear crawling here. That's her go to form of transportation on grass.
Molly is bear crawling here. That’s her go to form of transportation on grass.
Suzanne gave Molly a ballerina book for her birthday. Molly loves looking and playing with books.
Suzanne gave Molly a ballerina book for her birthday. Molly loves looking and playing with books.
We finished off all of the hard work with some chocolate birthday cake for everyone!
We finished off all of the hard work with some chocolate birthday cake for everyone!

 

Four toofers

Yes, in our house we call teeth – toofers and Molly has four of them! My sister snapped a picture of all four of them this week.

four toofers

Look at my chompers! Look out Mommy! Molly squints at us and then we squint back and so on and so forth. Its a game that she really likes playing.

popsicle 4

Max loved Popsicles. I made them for him with blueberries, vanilla yogurt, whole milk and sometimes honey. On Max’s last day he wanted Popsicles so I made him 12 with orange juice. He ate nine. I’ve had the remaining three in my fridge ever since and haven’t quite known what to do with them. Its been super hot here. On this particular day it was almost 90 degrees! I decided to give the Popsicles to Molly and she ate all three throughout the day and she did so like a champ. So now I’ll start making Popsicles for her. Maybe she’ll have the same love for them as her big brother but maybe not. Only time will tell 🙂

popsicle cold face

This is Molly’s cold face.

popsicle molly 2

Look what I got!

popsicle molly 3

So good! I love those smiling eyes.

My sister’s cat sitting job

So my sister, Kelly has a part time pet sitting job on top of her job of doing HR, payroll accounts receivable and a whole bunch of other stuff. She was telling me about a job she was just assigned when we were hanging out today. She gets emailed about the lovely creatures that she gets to feed, take for walks etc. This email she got today about an ancient cat is hilarious! Your entertainment starts now:

“Here’s the instructions on the 17 year old cat. They have another cat named “Kissy.” The notes say she poops in her litter box and pees on the pee pads in front of it. Lovely! I’m going to be pissed if this cat dies on me. Ugh Love, Kelly
 
Arthur is very mellow. Doesn’t wander far from kitchen area if at all. Loves being combed, which is also first go to technique if he is seen panting or sluggish. To massage him, just run you fingers gently up his spine when petting him. He will “mrow” if it hurts him at all, as he has some ouchy discs.

To administer pills do as follows: go up behind him on blanket, pet him then stroke his chin, put capsule into far back side of mouth and he should swallow it. Follow up with his 1/2 diurectic pill in glob of food in dish. If it seems the pill is stuck in his throat, just rub a little wet food over his lips/teeth, which should get him salivating to aid! Then follow up with full amount of wet food.

He gets small, even layer of kibble in dish by fridge, wet food is a large glop of pumpkin w/some wet in pile. Leave a ring of water around edge so you can add one spoon of Benefiber 2x/day.

Please comb him twice a day to keep his circulation going.
Backrubs gently twice a day
Monitor his breath in 15 second intervals – 8 beats or less – use timer on stove (hit set, then enter 15 & start) Count how many times he takes a breath before the timer goes off. IF he gets panting, try combing him FIRST, as than many times will calm him. *IF THIS IS HIGHER PLEASE CALL ME IMMEDIATELY – thank you Has congestive heart failure. Had an acupuncture appointment on 6/2/2014″
You’re welcome.

I mention him

My friend Angel put this on my facebook page a while back and I deeply identify with it. I didn’t write it so this mom’s situation probably wasn’t just like ours but both of our sons are in heaven.

I Mention Him

I Mention Him

Not to make you uncomfortable,
He’s my son, I should be able to talk about him.

Not to dwell,
He will forever be my son, part of my life, my heart.

Not to make you feel guilty,
He is a child just like your own, but he’s in Heaven.

Not to bring you down,
It brings me joy to speak of him fondly.

Not to get attention,
He exists in my life just as your topics of conversation exists in yours.

Not to gain sympathy,
Believe you me, I wish I did not have to speak on him the past tense.

Not to bring you down,
My grief is lifelong, my healing is in the only life he has now, his mommy.

Not to rub it in your face,
I would never wish this on ANYONE!

Not to make it about me,
I am just another parent trying to speak of my kids the way you do yours.

Not to suck you into my world,
Your world is just as important to me.

Not to distract you,
I want to hear how your life is going, your happiness is relevant.

Not to take away from the conversation,
Yet life as well as death is a part of common conversation.

Not to make my life seem more important than yours,
I am my own person in my own journey and I share what is in my heart just as you do.

Not to remind you of your own grief,
We all walk our own paths and stumble as all humans do, we should pick each other up.

Not to garner your support,
Everyone gives whatever they can to enrich the lives of the ones they care for.

Not to remind you,
No one needs to be reminded of the loss of a child.

Not to haunt you,
It sucks, it truly does but not speaking of him haunts those who love him.

He is my son, I mention him, his life, his passing, and the times since then because I live every one of those moments in real time everyday.  He is a part of my being.  He is a part of my soul.  He has a place in my heart.  I carried him in my womb.  I watched him struggle.  I made the hardest decision a parent will EVER have to make…I let him go.  But understand, though I let him go physically, spiritually, mentally, and emotionally, he will ALWAYS be with me!  I am thankful for it, it’s all I have and at this point, it is all I need.

Necklace

For a few years I have really liked all of the “kid necklaces” that a lot of my friends wear. I was going to order one before Max died but I wasn’t quite sure which one I liked and then life and busyness got in the way. Well my friends Amy, Michelle and Sabrina remember me complimenting their necklaces a few months ago at during our small group. Those ladies knew Max from small group and being in the nursery and with the two-year-olds during church on Sundays. So they knew them. He played with their kids. Their kids knew Max. This is a big deal to me. Well they gave me a necklace yesterday that they had made for me. If we have another baby I can add his or her name a birth stone to the necklace. I cried when they gave it to me. I have been thinking lately that the further out that I get from when Max was alive the more strange it is. At least so far. It feels like time is frozen when he was alive last spring and I’m stuck there because he’s still there as a little giggling, curious, helpful, mud loving three-year-old. Yet I’m also living in the present with Kelly and Molly. Molly is growing and developing and Kelly and I are aging as well but we still have a three-year-old son and Molly has a three-year-old big brother. But he’s not here – he’s in heaven. It is still all so strange and it just doesn’t make any sense to my human brain. I also feel that the further away Max being alive becomes the more and more he will be forgotten and that being a reality makes me so very sorrowful and I just ache all over. I don’t want for people to not know Max because he isn’t here. Hence the necklace is very special to me because it acknowledges that he is our son and Molly’s big brother. I don’t need the necklace to remember Max but it is very special to me.

necklace

http://www.metalstampedmemories.com/

Monkey Pajamas and Coffee

I love these monkey pajamas! I really like anything with animals on my kids actually. Molly has started squinting and then I do it back and she’ll laugh. Its pretty fun. Oh and I am not giving Molly coffee 😉
When Max was two he always wanted to try my coffee. (I drink it every morning and wouldn’t start reading books to him until I poured some for myself.) The kid LOVED books and would say, “Come oooonnn Mommy! Let’s read books!”) One day I let him try my coffee before I put in milk and sugar. He never asked to try it again and would tell me that my coffee was icky. He would say, “Mommy, I know you like coffee, I not like coffee.” Problem solved 😉

coffee molly 1

coffee molly 2

coffee molly 4

You may notice that Molly has grown a pair of bottom chompers in this picture. She  also has a matching pair of top ones. They are razor sharp!

Weekend with cousins Addie, Jonah & Cora

Kelly, Molly and I drove down to Portland to visit my cousin Michelle, her husband Eric and their three kids: Addie (almost 4), Jonah (21 mo.) and Cora (21 mo.) We had a blast and it was so nice to just  be with Michelle and Eric. I had so much fun playing with the kids. They loved Molly too. Cora and Jonah would say, “baby” over and over. Jonah was super gentle and sweet with Molly too. Molly loved watching all of the shenanigans those three created.

Molly and Addie

Addie and Molly

Cora 1

Happy Cora

bathtime 1

Jonah, Molly and Addie having a blast together in the tub.

Molly and Jonah

Jonah and Molly

 

Cousin Time

We got to hang out with Ma & Pa, Uncle Christopher, Aunt Laura, Grace and James today. Here are some pictures from our fun.

Molly and Laura

I  love this picture of Molly and Laura. It is so very sweet.

Grace and Pa

Grace wanted me to put a clip in her hair but then she wanted more and more until they were all in her hair. She picked them out and told me where to put them. I think she looks like a mermaid princess. She and Pa are watching Looney Toon shows 🙂

Laura and Molly 1

This picture of Laura and Molly is from Friday when we visited I just forgot to put them up in my last post. Max and Grace used to try and take turns on this car and another Little Mermaid one. I think the last time we were there Max rode on the Little Mermaid one 🙂

molly and james 1

Kelly’s cousin Vanessa and her husband Bubba had their daughter Aubrey and then their twin girls Annie and Paisley. Vanessa generously gives us their hand-me-downs! We naturally get doubles of some items. Laura and I thought it would be fun to put Molly and James in matching, “Mommy loves me” onsies.

molly and james 2

Molly and James 4

Molly and James 3

I cannot get over Molly’s face here! She’s been doing this a lot lately. It cracks me up! It reminds me of the face Max made when he tried pureed carrots I made him for the first time when he was almost seven months old. They must be related.

first carrots