My friend Angel put this on my facebook page a while back and I deeply identify with it. I didn’t write it so this mom’s situation probably wasn’t just like ours but both of our sons are in heaven.
Not to make you uncomfortable,
He’s my son, I should be able to talk about him.
Not to dwell,
He will forever be my son, part of my life, my heart.
Not to make you feel guilty,
He is a child just like your own, but he’s in Heaven.
Not to bring you down,
It brings me joy to speak of him fondly.
Not to get attention,
He exists in my life just as your topics of conversation exists in yours.
Not to gain sympathy,
Believe you me, I wish I did not have to speak on him the past tense.
Not to bring you down,
My grief is lifelong, my healing is in the only life he has now, his mommy.
Not to rub it in your face,
I would never wish this on ANYONE!
Not to make it about me,
I am just another parent trying to speak of my kids the way you do yours.
Not to suck you into my world,
Your world is just as important to me.
Not to distract you,
I want to hear how your life is going, your happiness is relevant.
Not to take away from the conversation,
Yet life as well as death is a part of common conversation.
Not to make my life seem more important than yours,
I am my own person in my own journey and I share what is in my heart just as you do.
Not to remind you of your own grief,
We all walk our own paths and stumble as all humans do, we should pick each other up.
Not to garner your support,
Everyone gives whatever they can to enrich the lives of the ones they care for.
Not to remind you,
No one needs to be reminded of the loss of a child.
Not to haunt you,
It sucks, it truly does but not speaking of him haunts those who love him.
He is my son, I mention him, his life, his passing, and the times since then because I live every one of those moments in real time everyday. He is a part of my being. He is a part of my soul. He has a place in my heart. I carried him in my womb. I watched him struggle. I made the hardest decision a parent will EVER have to make…I let him go. But understand, though I let him go physically, spiritually, mentally, and emotionally, he will ALWAYS be with me! I am thankful for it, it’s all I have and at this point, it is all I need.